return of the tv zombies

It's true. The only thing that matches my unhealthy obsession with Pokemon (and it seems that my adoration for Pikachu has been genetically passed on to my daughter, who now has four of them, ranging in size from small milk bottle to junior bean bag) is my addiction to reality TV.

After the joy of this year's American Idol (hey, Rickey! hey ConCon girls!), Nikki and I have been rather depressed, with only America's Next Top Model to tide us by (and just so you know, our pick, Yoanna House, won). You know you're desperate when you're happy watching that aired last March. To get me through, I watched my DVD set of Survivor All Stars again and again. I even watched Ambush Makeover and Change of Heart, for heaven's sake. Pirate Billy eased my junkie pain with some other things, but the weekly thrill just wasn't there, and I missed the sense of "at-the-edge-of-seat-oh-my-god-what's-going-to-happen-next-you-dumb-fuck!".

Oh, but this month on free TV (because our stupid Destiny Cable doesn't have AXN or Starworld) marks the return of two our favorite reality franchises: Survivor: Guatemala and The Amazing Race 8. And the Martha Stewart edition of The Apprentice is just around the corner (I know because we bought spots for one of our clients on the show). Just like wrestling, I like the staged "reality" of it all, and look for moments when the TV text subverts itself - sort of like deconstructive TV viewing, if I must be all intelligent and hackels-raised defensive about it. But really, I'm not, I'm just a hapless zombie.

And a very happy couch potato.