Thursday, April 21, 2005

vignette: preliminary notes on the retrieved final manifesto of MaMachine; compiled by Lt. Benjamin Javier Eusebio, PNP Technologic Division

[At 22:13 on 11.21.46, MaMachine wrote:]

My first love

We were both seven years old.

We played at each other’s houses, alternating days: Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays were at my place. We cut paper and raced cars. We built parapets and made them tumble.

Puppy love, what can I say?


Initial reading suggests that this entry was written specifically for the consumption of a certain individual, but closer analysis reveals that the subversive message targets the impressionable Filipino youth that access MaMachine’s banned website.

The tone and message of this entry continues the obvious propagation of MaMachine’s agenda: in particular, the subversion of the Department of Health’s “No Contact” Policy (DHEAL Act 17436.44), the Department of Trade Guidelines for Restricted Alcohol Importation (DTRAD Act 19442.68), and the Department of Civilian Defense’s Social Network Protocols (DCIVD Act 6209.37).

While MaMachine was able to elude capture, we have profiled the suspect based on textual analysis of her webposts and ifeeds similar to the extraneous entry above.

1. MaMachine is female. As proven by records of the Department of Social Welfare’s “Oplan: Panaginip” (DSOCI Act 2212.75), Filipino women are more likely to concoct fantastic scenarios during REM state sleep. This is accepted as conventional wisdom and clearly explains the failures of the nation’s previous (and censured) leaders of the female gender (Aquino, Arroyo, Sy, and Ledesma). MaMachine’s propensity towards use of “romance” as metaphors is likewise indicative of her gender, along with her choice of avatar nomenclature (MaMa).

2. MaMachine is educated. While every Filipino is able to utilize the most basic of social network communications, only the selectively educated are able to compose discrete blocks of text for purposes other than the most banal. While the fact that MaMachine undoubtedly benefited from our educational system is unacceptable, it is still a testament to the efficacy of our methods of instruction.

3. MaMachine belongs to the upper tier AB socioeconomic class. The complexity of MaMachine’s hard setup, captured during my department’s operations, indicates a capacity to funnel funding outside of any regular citizen’s acceptable expenditure levels.

4. MaMachine is obsessed with history. This is obvious in her choice of words and syntax, as well as her allusions to the past. All of this “looking backwards” is dangerous to a society that can only (and should only) look forward. Any government-educated citizen knows that our nation suffered through the centuries of successive rule by foreign powers (Spain, the United States of America, Japan, and the Malay Union) interspersed with periods of false liberty and so-called "popular rule". We live in the best period of Philippine history, with a government selected from the best and most qualified citizenry.


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