Tuesday, March 18, 2003

naked girls for free

Okay, I must confess that one of the nice things about my work are the great freebies I get from great clients in the course of acting as a consultant.

For example, today I unexpectedly scored a pair of Filipino videos on disc: the movie Hibla, and the softcore Viva Hot Babes (just when I was about to depressed when I found out that Cynthia and Arnold had worked on Joyce Jimenez's Private Joyce).

Now though neither of these pleasant offerings featured Diana Zubiri, both provided an interesting early evening diversion (while my amused wife rolled her eyes in amusement). Now son't expect a true review, because these kinds of things defy absolute analysis.

Hibla, partially written by Quark Henares, stars Rica Peralejo and Maui Taylor. The story (yes, there is a story) is about childhood friends who are separated when one of them moves to the city her with family, leaving the other behind in the sleepy province. Of course, they meet again later but are very different - and it is that set of differences that inevitably make everything end in tears. None of this impressed my jaded wife who would check on me every now and then - "so, have they taken their clothes off yet?". And yes, they certainly do, revealing their pert naked forms (though, come on, who would believe that Maui Taylor's breasts were not the result of unnatural tampering?). The story actually had the potential to be somewhat good, but naturally it followed the sad Filipino movie cliches and degenerated into maudlin melodrama. But still, delivering an earthshaking series of epiphanies about the human condition wasn't exactly the point, was it?

Viva Hot Babes, on the other hand, made no such effort in the first place. Upping the naked quotient, it was unabashedly meant to tease, and tease it did, in a series of vignettes strung together by one man's fertile (and coconut-thunked-inspired) imagination. Who's in it? Maui Taylor (again), Katya Santos (who, to me, is still too young to do what she does), Andrea del Rosario (who exudes the "Day...tubig!-slash- Huwag po, kuya, huwag po!" earthy charm), Kristine Jaca, Jen Rosendahl, Gwen Garci, Nicola Jane and Hazel Cabrera. Sadly though, majority of these so-called hot babes (also featured in a previous issue of FHM - their pictures there amplified their common lack of class) simply lack the x-factor that elevates a woman beyond looking like a cheap strumpet. So you have these young women baring their charms as they body point sensitive areas, or swim naked in a pool, or really really really get a vehicle clean. But still, for something free, I'm not complaining.

After all, my prurient interest has been stoked by these pouty nymphs, and now I think I'll write a screenplay. How's that for indecent inspiration?

One last thing: last week, my partner and I began screening photographers for various projects and my cold cold heart turned green with envy when every single one of them had, in their portfolios, pictures of not-so-sweet young things. Feh. Is it too late to gain a new skill set?


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