Wednesday, April 23, 2003

flesh for fantasy

Over merienda with Cams, Carl and the rest of my staff, I got to thinking. If I weren’t engaged in my current business, had no artsy-fartsy creative whathaveyou to occupy my mind, had no little girl, had full support of my wife, and gave in to my deepest,darkest hedonistic side, I’d do 4 things.

one: Muse

I’d be a pimp. I’d organize an escort service with a small number of boobsy and strikingly intelligent young women with a certain “hotcha” (recruiting from the Viva Hot Babes, Gee Girls or the colleges girls with attitude. I’d have a phone number (and maybe a website) and would use an outsource model. Naturally, I’d be a pimp with a golden heart, conferring partner status to my girls, with profit-sharing. We’d target high-level officials, church figures and the entertainment industry.

My girls would be smart enough to hold their own on any number of sensible conversations (I’d make them read a lot) and they have to pass a certain wit scale, speak excellent English and not have any angst issues. (Hee hee - I just imagined Nikki in a mama-san role, complete with Chinese collar dress and freaky red nails, smoking a handrolled cigarette and being nasty to the new girl).

two: Phantasmagoria

I’d set up a snazzy strip joint/bar with various fleshly gimmicks and high-end marketing ploys. No sex on the premises but the bar fine will be within reach of my wealthy patrons (which include the various government and police authorities that we have to bribe). Everything tasteful except after a certain hour when blacklit performances and audience tours take over. On certain nights, to help cash flow, I’ll create “Orgiasta”, where both male and female performers do nasty and wonderful things onstage.

three: Fontana

I’d build a massage clinic with adjacent baths of different styles (Roman, Turkish, Finnish and fine, American Indian). “Happy Endings” are part of the service and tip is more than appreciated. In addition, I’d have a café, restaurant, gym, mini DVD theatre and bookstore. Very expensive to enter, but you’ll spend the entire day in bliss.

four: Pene

Finally, I’d build a series of low-end no-frills motels, just for sex. No namby-pamby positioning, no coy marketing.

Yes. Yes, I would.

That's what an idle mind and oppressive summer heat get you.

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