Tuesday, June 03, 2003

where is my destiny?

Who knows? Destiny Cable, which provides my internet connection at home, has been down for the past 4 days, which included a weekend of staring at the monitor of the crippled PC. Apparently, some issues with signal, lost data packets, modem configurations, IP accessibility and other gobbledygook are at fault. I don't give a shit what the reason is, just give me back my connection. The poor flustered girl at customer service got the best part of my inchoate morning ire, when I threatened to visit their offices personally and unplug everything.

It's really disturbing to me when I think of how the web has become so ubiquitous, so necessary for my daily life. I get my news, my mail, my porn, my game and software updates, everything, from the web, and I'm not about to go out and look for a freaking cybercafe just to do all that (thank god for the office connection though its not the same).

It's the same with the cell phone. If I manage to leave home without it, I'm a wreck for the rest of the say. Why? It's not as if I get a gazillion important calls or messages, right? But it is having the capacity to make a call when I want to, without having to look for a phone. I'm one of those people who actually use the cell phone to call more often than I use SMS.

I'm okay without the accoutrements of technology for as long as I am prepared to do so (e.g. a vacation in some forsaken place). But never, never unplug me without telling me.


my life in a box

Began putting stuff away in boxes, readying for the move to the new office.

I resisted until the tables had to be moved before doing any packing of my own. Makes it seem too real.

Change always happens and its up to us how we react. Do we pack up and get going? Do we cling to the past and weep a river of bitter tears? Do we shrug our shoulders and say "WTF"? Do we expel a sigh and give up?

As people, all of these options of reactions and more are all available, all valid.

But we have to choose.

I chose to grimace while packing then head off to lunch, thinking about the gigantic comic book I'm pitching to big brand client. Because, really, life goes on.

The wheel turns. The wheel turns.


magic to do

Miyazaki provided the last two evenings of viewing pleasure for Nikki, Sage and I, with Kiki's Delivery Service and Spirited Away. These two films are simply beautiful, with room to breathe and an engaging sense of wonder. Fine storytelling makes them the classics that they are.

Sage particularly liked the witch story, mesmerized by the flying scenes. In fact, the next day, she came to her mother with a broom which she then proceeded to ride. What a smart little girl.

Last night, Nikki and I played Magic for a couple of hours, using the new cards from the latest Magic expansion: Scourge. We still love the game though neither of us are competitive anymore. Once upon a time, I was the National Champion, and Nikki, the National Finalist who went on to compete at the World Championship in Seattle.

I enjoy constructing decks from the cards we have. There's room for creativity, strategy and plain old weirdness in making decks. Quite therapeutic.


ozymandias

Vin and I spoke about writing, and how so many authors are forgotten, unknown or simply irrelevant to our own lives and interests.

I do not believe in creating a legacy of writing for the future. I don't think its something you decide. You simply do your best, writing for yourself or for your select audience, in the best way you know, with all the truth and honestly you can muster. The future readers will take care of themselves. The Now is more important. What worth is recognition 100 years from now? I'd rather enjoy a smile from a reader today, thank you.

My stepfather once told me that a man had to do three things to be complete:

Sire a child.

Write a book.

Plant a tree.

I guess that means leave something genetic, something intellectual, and something that everyone can enjoy or use.

Me, I'd add a fourth. Lose your heart and find it again.

Or smoke a cigarette.


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