poh! poh! poh! poh!

Why, for the past few days, does it seem to rain everywhere else in Manila except for where I happen to be? One of my employees in Marikina even had problems with a flash flood, for heaven’s sake. Marco danced in it half-naked, sadly thinking he was in one the TVCs he writes. My own business partner came in with a wet umbrella.

I mean, come on!

While I sometimes like heat, this personal Thomas-Covenant-style-Sun-of-Oppression is too much (arg - how I loathe that series). This morning, I spent more than hour in sweltering traffic to get to a meeting – the cab’s air conditioner was just too overwhelmed. By the time I got there, I was not a pretty sight. I relied on wit and charm (and the men's restroom and the abundant toilet paper) to convince my client that my "fresh" look was intentional. Gah.

I do not glow like my wife. I do not simply sweat. I drip, trailing water lines down my shaved head. If I sit still, I end up in a puddle of liquid. I could single-handedly end a drought if my perspiration were consumable (and the tragic thing is that I think my daughter inherited my sweat genes, the poor thing).

So where is the relief? Where is the rain? Give me rain!

I have only one recourse, and that is to take a page from my magickal friend Jason who appropriated a poem from Vin and transformed it into a spell to summon rain.

Poh! Poh! Poh! Poh!
Mount Pinatubo exploding....
Aquaman on his horse-fish....
What is the sound of an empty 1.5L bottle of Coke light?
Gasgasgasgasgasgasgasgasgas....
Charm on!
Hip-poh-poh-tamus....
Edgar Allan Poh....
Poh! Poh! Poh! Poh!

By itself, Vin's poem is brilliant, and as for the magick, well, I’m willing to shout out “Poh! Poh! Poh! Poh!” before I am desiccated beyond redemption.

Come, rain!

Poh! Poh! Poh! Poh!