five hundred

Along Aurora Boulevard in Cubao there is an old movie house, the Diamond. It is there where, at night, you can have your pick of young sweet things for a bargain price of 500 pesos.

If, like me, you don't have a car, you can befriend your cabbie and have him take you there. Make sure to be there as soon as the goods are available, say 7PM, because, really, if you wait until past midnight (perhaps in the hopes of being a little more discreet), you'll have to make do with tired and less enthused girls.

When you draw up in your vehicle, expect to be approached by one of the many lesbian pimps (who knows why they're all lesbian?) who will befriend you and ask you about your preferences and the like.

Once you enlighten her, she'll signal behind her and three or four girls will magically appear, manifestations of your stated type. They are all young and attractive, some still in school uniform, carrying a bag of school books - none of them look worldwise or puffed with attitude, and certainly no one dresses in leather and fishnets.

Some have milk-white skin, some are morena. Long hair, short hair, bobbed or cut. All slender, all smiling, all soft and inviting. You will find yourself mystified as to the quality of the stock.

You make your choice then, carefully weighing your options - they are all game, all fair play, all willing. Tell the pimp which one you want and she'll ask for your 500 pesos in advance.

That's the way it works. You pay ahead of your engagement. No pay, no play. Your partner receives her share of your payment after everything, when she comes back.

After you pay, the chosen girl enters your vehicle. No small talk is necessary, no need to make her feel at ease - she knows what happens next. Try not to ask too many personal questions. You bought sex, not an interview. Epiphanies cost more.

There is a Sogo's nearby, though its almost always full, and the bemused staff will only shake their heads as they turn you away.

But do not fret, there are a number of apartelles nearby, only 150 pesos for a brief interlude of the sort on your mind, easy on the pocket. If you're in a cab, your driver knows them all.

Do what you want inside, but don't expect anything beyond the flavor of vanilla. While your 500 pesos doesn't cover exotica, it does cover the basics and should be enough to get you through (such a bargain).

You don't have to take her back to the Diamond theatre when you're finished, though there is a certain Old World charm that surrounds you like an aura if you do. It is appreciated and you will be remembered next time - word gets around and gentlemen are rare.

But it is not required.

No, you can just go your way and let her find her way back.

See how she hurries? That's because she wants to turn another trick or two before the night grows too dark. Competition at the Diamond is fierce and unforgiving of the slow, the lazy and the unmotivated.

With 60% of your payment, she only has enough for a phone card, after all.

She needs more.

Every night she is able.