come, storm

I guess there's no pleasing people like me.

Take rain, for example. I am irritated by the namby-pamby little fall of rain, the light drizzle that occasionally threatens to be a downpour, which is neither here nor there. You look silly without an umbrella but don't really need it.

If there's going to be traffic and delays anyway, let there be real rain, a real storm, with Hong Kong-style "Black Rain" warnings, powerful winds that rip people off the streets and slam them into derelict buildings, floods that go beyond a few inches and threaten the entire riverways; let there be gnashing and wailing and fists held against the unforgiving sky that weeps tears of contempt, let it be elemental, let it strike fear and loathing and bitterness, make us feel small and unable to leave the presumed safety of the dry indoors, remind us of our frail humanity.

Don't be civilized and rain on schedule or in almost-embarassed bursts. Rain should never be paired with the adjective "gentle".

Give me a reason to stay home.